Halloween, more or less, sucked ass. No parties, no alcohol, no nothing. The highlight of my evening was watching Penn and Teller’s Bullshit on Netflix. I just sat around with tony all night doing jack shit. What an anti-climactic holiday. And to make matters worse, the weather is terrible. Rain sucks. It’s so depressing. And soon I’m going to go to bed. Alone. Idk about you, but I know that it sucks ass. There’s nobody around ever. I wish somebody was around once and awhile, just to hang out, cuddle up and watch movies with. But that’s asking too much I suppose, especially when you’re me.

Jack Daniels. Jack Daniels is my favorite. Last night I was invited last minute to a party for my friend Bill’s birthday. I knew close to nobody there, except for Bolivar, Dave, Murph, and a few others that I’d met through the guys. Bill was shittered when we first arrived. I drank my jack pretty quickly and then started on the beer. Dave ended up having too much and vomited all over himself. I felt bad cause I’ve been there before. Not fun at all. Bolivar was a good dude though, and he helped him get cleaned up and took him home and such. I went upstairs with the guys later in the night to wish Bill a “happy birthday”, but he was still out cold when we got up there. While we were up there, this girl just started hitting on me terribly. She kept telling me I had “beautiful eyes”. She put her arm around me and all I could say to myself was “Oh Jesus Christ”. I wouldn’t have minded if she was somewhat attractive, but she was far from it. I kept giving Murph the eye, the cue to get me the fuck outta there haha. I ended up just drinking the beer that I had really fast so I could use the “I need to go get another beer” excuse. Idk what’s going on, but I’ve been getting hit on a lot more than usual. It’s not like I’m a good looking guy. I mean sure, I look better than some poor bastards, but there’s plenty of other dudes who look a lot better than I do as well. I just wish that the girls who hit on me could be at least somewhat attractive. Oh well, who cares. After I got home from the party I pretty much just did what I do every night: ramen and a sandwich while watching Sons Of Anarchy. Oh what a life I live.

Enter The Matrixxxxx!

Once again, it’s 3 AM and this guy is still awake. I just got done eating 2 bowls of ramen and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I just finished watching the 2nd to last episode of the first season of Sons Of Anarchy. I can’t help it, this is such an awesome fucking show. It’s easily my favorite, I never ever get tired of it. I watch old episodes to pass the time between new ones and this has to be my 2nd time through the first season in only 2 weeks. It’s been the only good part of my day. I woke up sometime around noon today and I just felt like utter shit. I had a monster headache, sharp pains in my chest, and my body just ached everywhere. I ended going back to sleep. I had been waking up on and off until about 4:30 when I finally got out of bed. I just couldn’t stand laying there anymore. After that, I pretty much sat around for the rest of the day. I hate when my days are like this. Why does finding a job have to be so fuckin’ hard? If I was working, then I’d have both money and something to do everyday. Our economy sucks so much ass that it’s not even funny. I’ll find something eventually. I just have to keep trying I guess. I just wish there was something/someone to help me occupy my time. Oh well, can’t get everything you want, I suppose.

3:30 AM. Who can’t sleep? THIS GUY! I noticed that a few of my friends have these Tumblr blog things and in my fit of boredom i decided, “Fuck it, I’ll make one too”. Hmm. My day. It kinda sucked. It wasn’t anything special. I slept like all day because of the rain. It’s so depressing, makes me not want to do anything. When I finally got out of bed, I didn’t even bother getting dressed. I fed Monty, my cat and then I pretty much sat around with my buddy and played xbox for most of the afternoon like the big fuckin’ loser that I am. This is how my days have been lately. I feel like I’m missing out on something in life, or that I’m falling short. I miss playing music, as well as lifting weights. I feel good about everything when I play music, regardless of whatever is going wrong in my life. Music just makes me so happy. My friends John, Bolivar, and Bill have a band together named Xibalba, and I just love watching/listening to them play because they have such a passion for music. The room could be dead and they still put in as much effort and passion as they would if the room was full. I wish I had someone like that to share my passion for music with in a band sense. And as for the weight lifting part, when I’m lifting, I feel good about myself. I feel as if I could do anything. I’m not a big guy, but I can still lift as much as someone a lot bigger than me, and because of that I just feel awesome. When I’m not doing one of those two things, I just feel all blawww. Like I’m alone even though there’s other people around. You know what I mean? Haha I hope so, cause i can’t really explain it any other way. But idunno, maybe it’s just the weather that’s making me feel gay. I need some sunshine. Maybe that will turn things around. Let’s see what tomorrow brings…